I officially hate Xmas!
Cos it's celebrated wrongly.
Just screw it la, I'm just and tired of this season.
Why wait till Xmas so that you can give & receive presents.
You can give and receive presents any other day la.

It's stupid.
Xmas is the Birth of Chirst.
Blah Blah Blah. :/

This is sick.
Thank God, you're not me.

Okay, the weekend sucked big time.
Yeah, I'm at new place now.
Not at Ion anymore. :D

Well everyone's hyped up about 25th.
I am so not. I am not looking forward to it at all.
Cause everyone's celebrating it for the wrong reasons.
It's the birth of Christ.
That's the reason why there's Christmas.
Santa Claus didn't exist, it was all a LIE.

Yes, I know I stopped going church.
That doesn't mean I cannot practice what I have learnt as a catholic.
Tsk, don't judge me.

Well, the only thing I long for is to have someone around.
Someone to hold, cherish this very special day.
Hang out & chill & engage in most random conversations ever.

Guess this year, wasn't the year.
Probably gonna hang out with the usuals.
Not really sure what are they up to.
Or let it be a very quiet one with me at home.

Zirca on Sunday was fucked up.
I said things that shouldn't have been said.
Things shouldn't been mentions.
Bloody shameless of me.
Sigh.

Doubt will be going clubbing soon.
The worst part of it all
My seniors, of all people, saw me in that manner.
How sucky is that.

My life isn't as good as yours.
Enjoy it while it lasts.

Okay, I am just hopeless.
Almost the people in my social circle are attached.
Screw this, screw a thing called love.

I used to believe in love.
& the wonders of it.
the stories behind it.

I always thought I would experience it.
I was wrong.
I was unable to feel loved
My family nor my past could make me feel that way.

Maybe I was blind.

Test is 8hours time.
I am here wasting my life away.

Be glad, you're not living my life.

I'm on the verge of giving up.
I'm just too hopeless for anything.
A part of me slowly dies each day.
What more can I do to change things?

I am still waiting.
I told you I would.

2 months,
I doubt you will hold on to your word.
You would just break me like the others.
Words, are just words, easily said & fast forgotten.

I am living my life now.
I always have been.

Recently,
I have lost the mood to study.
I have gain interest for the party-life.

Should I indulge in it?
I have restrained myself for too long.
I can't resist temptation no more.

Oh wells.
Tmr's my last paper.
&Then I am on break for 2 weeks.

Bleaching my hair tmr.
New look, I hope.

I am gonna make sure I will be fine without you.
Cause when you are around.
I feel the same as how I feel now.
Makes no difference.

I tried my best of wanting to know you.
You just pushed me aside.
But when you left,
You felt so guilty.

I do really know what to do now.
Stay & believe in faith or,
Leave & free myself?

Come to think of it.
I wished, simply wished.
I could erase my past.
I do not wished to stay in touch with ex's/dates/flings.

Cause having them around is pain.
Hearing that they have someone is painful.

I'm just hopeless.
Thank God, you're not me.

Date: 12/17/2009
Colorgenics Number: 26435107

You are feeling exhausted, worn out, drained. You feel that far too much is being asked of you but you still want to overcome these difficulties and establish yourself despite the effect such an effort seems to have on you. You are a proud person, assertive most of the time, but at this particular moment you are acting as if you have become resigned to the situation. What you need is some tender loving care - a gentle pat on the head (or maybe a 'kick-up-the backside') and then you'll be raring to go.

Of late, everything seems to be going so slowly - far slower than you anticipated - and this is causing you much anxiety and frustration. It would appear that there is little you can do about the series of events that now seem to be taking place. In spite of the fact that you feel like 'giving up' - don't. Take a deep breath and start over again and you will find that eventually the expression 'All's well that ends well' will have an extra special meaning for you.

You feel very lonely and frustrated at this time but your shyness and modesty precludes you from establishing any deep form of relationship. You feel rather isolated and alone. You are egocentric and you believe that you are always right - well maybe you are - but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offence for the slightest reason.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are trying to build up your own position and you resist all external influences. You insist that you are your own person and you will not tolerate any outside interference. Decisive and proud, you are true managerial material.