i can't understand why i do things to hurt people or hurt myself. i am just so silly. silly to do things without thinking or th consequences. why? do i really need someone there to guide me. am i really despo? wtf! i missed musical outing. which makes things worst. ugh. i don't know. i'm doing things for th wrong purpose. i hope th study skills next week will help. ):
i don't wanna care
sigh. th song by jessica simpson is really true. why should i care? i just did a foolish thing, now he is gonna ignore me ): sadness
Danity Kane - Right Now Lyrics
Oh boy Baby... Oh no no no, touch me like that Ohh my god, baby, no, no, no, no, no
Go slow, you just don't know What I'd do to you If the situation was different It's beat and go (go) We'd be on this floor, it'd be on for sure It's too bad that we can't
You make me wanna do, something I never do (never do) Wanna go there with you (with you) All the way there (there), touch me there (there), take me there with you (there with you) Boy I'm scared of you Nothing compares to you I'm not prepared to do it
So I can love you (right now) Like I want to (right now) He just can't do it And it's taking everything in me I want to (right now) No I want to (right now) It's this one rule (And it's keeping me from giving you my love)
I must admit Baby ooh your kiss It's taking my mind To places that nobody's never seen before Makin' me wantin' more I know you hopin' that I Filled a little, give a little more (yeah)
You make me wanna do, something I never do (never do) Wanna go there with you (with you) All the way there (there), touch me there (there), take me there with you (there with you) Boy I'm scared of you Nothing compares to you I'm prepared to do it
So I can love you (right now) Like I want to (right now) You just can't do it And it’s taking everything in me I want you (right now) No I want to (right now) But it's this one rule (And it's keeping me from giving you my love)
Wanna go all the way We got a plane to save Hey, Hey (So you just cant have my love)
So I can love you (right now) Like I want to (right now) We just can't do it And it's taking everything in me Know that I want to (right now) Like I love you (right now) I want to (And it's keeping me from giving you my love)
Ooh right there right there Touch me there, right there ooh there, there Right there, right there Ooh, no Right there, right there No, right there, right there, right there
6years, one building, many friendships.
today, decided to go back to queenstown. alex dragged me back... met him at 12. bussed to school. saw tarandip, audery, wei qian, yang qi &shawn. boy they have changed alot! met nicholas, teck ee, maurice, ronald, haiqal, khairiah &jonathan (: went to mt. faber to play bowling with tarandip, audery, khairiah, nicholas, marcus &shawn. nicholas treated. haha, he changed alot, i mean ALOT! played 2 games. i sucked 46points for th 1st one &49 for 2nd one. sigh. i'm sucha a loser! lol.
to you; you really pissed me off today, i don't know what to say. you should have gone to jurong east with qilin &them. give me back my ipod too. ugh.
Danity Kane - Hold Me Down Lyrics
Yeah... you know what baby Not matter what I go through, No matter what I do You're always there To hold me down And that's real
You tell me there's nothing better than me So you're draft me like I'm the top pick of the league Then you gave me what I need So fly it was like you planted a seed (Oh) Even when there is trouble (Oh) You handle it before I know (Oh) So I'm letting you know It's beautiful, us together Who can ask for more?
Anytime, anyplace I know you're down You're the type I can trust to be around The way you hear me and feel me Got me lovin you that much more really I don't wanna see myself With anyone else cause the way I felt Got me so caught up I'm stuck on you So real I know I got the truth
I'm the only one written on your list You and me so legitimate Everything is about your chick That's why we're so exclusive You hold me, baby you hold me down You hold me, baby you hold me down You hold me, baby you hold me down You hold me, baby you hold me down
Hold me, yes, you hold me down (I know you got me) Hold me, yes, you hold me down Hold me, yes, you hold me down (and you know that I got you too) No matter what you talk you hold me down
So deep that I aint worried Thinkin' baby you're out there runnin' the streets No, you're playin' with me so perfectly That's why you got me convinced you were made for me (Oh) You're everything I been missing (Oh) With you there's no second guessin' (Oh) You with me is a blessin' that I can't and just won't let go of
Anytime, anyplace I know you're down You're the type I can trust to be around The way you hear me and feel me Got me lovin you that much more really I don't wanna see myself With anyone else cause the way I felt Got me so caught up I'm stuck on you So real I know I got the truth
I'm the only one written on your list You and me so legitimate Everything is about your chick That's why we're so exclusive You hold me, baby you hold me down You hold me, baby you hold me down You hold me, baby you hold me down You hold me, baby you hold me down
Got a life with you Got a right with you baby More than just a friend More than just a man you're Everything I could ever need You want my heart got the best of me I aint gon' let another come between I'ma hold you down the same way you hold me:
I'm the only one written on your list You and me so legitimate Everything is about your chick That's why we're so exclusive You hold me, baby you hold me down You hold me, baby you hold me down You hold me, baby you hold me down You hold me, baby you hold me down
Hold me, yes, you hold me down Hold me, yes, you hold me down Hold me, yes, you hold me down No matter what you talk you hold me down
danity kane!
danity kane! {next pusswaycat dolls? maybe!}
show stopper! (:
morning (: brother got back yesterday around 8plus(: i got an adidas bag. whoo hoo! i don't care whether its fake anot, because th design is super nice. haha! yup yup. i am gna drag myself down to qps later cos alex wants me to.. oh wells. maybe meeting up stupid darling to study! i hope he comes! i'll kill him if he doesn't ugh! idiot!
bored.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
hey guys! i'm back again. been really bored! was talking to tino just now (: now talking to caleb &nick. sigh. i wanna go overseas too! well, i really really can't wait for brother to come back (: i really miss him hell lots! that is what i call sibling love (:
you got my temperature rising
i so do my love my friendster profile (:
sigh, another morning. i think brother is coming back in th afternoon. can't wait to see th pics &what he has got me (: well, yesterday i dumped everything into th sink, plates, cups &bowls. i was supposed to wash after i am done with th comp. but instead i went to sleep! -.-
today i woke up, sister scolded me for leaving th sink into such conditions. then i thought, maybe she help me clean alr. so i went to th kitchen, it was th same as yesterday. sigh. i begin washing everything. ugh. then i went to clean up th place.
well, someone once told me, you do not find love, let love come to you instead. well, so i am gonna stop searching for th one. &let it come to me instead...
anyway, this tata young song is so ugh, but i don't know why i like so much? haha. 'i need rain rain rain, i'm burning up in here' LOL!
Tata Young El Nin-YO
Can you feel it coming down? Comes down harder, harder Comes down faster, faster You're burning Hot!
You got my temperature rising Like El Nin-YO! Like El Nin-YO! Like El Nin-YO! Like El Nin-YO!
Can you feel the fire in my eyes? What my lips desire can't be denied I can take you to a place where the sun don’t shine Ohowowo, I'll melt your mind
You could say I'm old fashioned But a circuit snaps when the temperature rises I'm all consumed by passion
I need rain rain rain I'm burning up in here This drought's 'bout to disappear Rain rain rain I'm burning up in here Ready or not, open up
You got my temperature rising Like El Nin-YO! Like El Nin-YO! Like El Nin-YO! Like El Nin-YO!
Don't leave me till I'm satisfied I won't say no to something I haven't tried I won't object to my hands and feet being tied This girl don't know 'bout being shy
You could say I'm old fashioned But a circuit snaps when the temperature rises I'm all consumed by passion
I need rain rain rain I'm burning up in here This drought's 'bout to disappear Rain rain rain I'm burning up in here Ready or not, open up Open up and let it rain
You got my temperature rising Like El Nin-YO! Like El Nin-YO! Like El Nin-YO! Like El Nin-YO!
Can you feel it coming down? Comes down harder, harder(What) Comes down faster, faster(What) You're burning hot!
I need rain rain rain I'm burning up in here This drought's 'bout to disappear Rain rain rain I'm burning up in here Ready or not, open up C'mon and let it rain
I need rain rain rain I'm burning up in here This drought's 'bout to disappear Rain rain rain I'm burning up in here Ready or not, open up &let it rain
You got my temperature rising Like El Nin-YO! Like El Nin-YO! Like El Nin-YO! Like El Nin-YO!
Can you feel it coming down? Comes down harder, harder Comes down faster, faster You're burning hot!
me acting stupid! (: part 1
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
us fooling around before maths remedial (:
i'm done with you.
just read finished th book, sigh. all he wanted was to have sex with laniey just to prove that he isn't gay. oh wells. he didn't get what he wanted. thanks to lainey, he is going back to reform school ): fuck her!
now i am gonna start on charlotte's grey. i hope it is nice that this. ayumi hamasaki song is so nice. haha, its called blue bird... oh wells. things at home are fine (: well, i miss school. sigh
iloveNY (: -.-" =P
me &you
me &you (wendy's k800i)
It's me and you now I've been waiting I think I'm gonna make that move now Baby tell me how you like it
You've been waiting so long, I'm here to answer your calls I know that I shouldn't have had you waiting at all I've been so busy, but I've been thinking 'bout what I wanna do wit you I know them other guys, they've been talking 'bout the way I do what I do They heard I was good, they wanna see if it's true They know you're the one I wanna give it to I can see you want me too Now it's me and you
It's me and you now I've been waiting Think I'm gonna make that move now Baby Tell me if you like it It's me and you now I've been waiting Think I'm gonna make that move now Baby tell me how you like it
I was waiting for you to tell me you were ready I know what to do if only you would let me As long as your cool with it I'll treat ya right Here is where you wanna be I know them other guys, they've been talkin 'bout the way I do what I do They heard I was good they wanna see if it's true They know you're the one I wanna give it to I can see you want me too And now it's me and you
It's me and you now I've been waiting Think I'm gonna make that move now Baby tell me if you like it Think I'm gonna make that move now Baby tell me how you like it
Baby I'll love you all the way down Get you right where you like it I promise you'll like it Just relax and let me make that move We'll keep it between me & you
It's me and you now I've been waiting Think I'm gonna make that move now Baby tell me if you like it It's me and you now I've been waiting Think I'm gonna make that move now Baby tell me how you like it
It's me and you now I've been waiting Think I'm gonna make that move now Baby tell me if you like it
- Cassie, Me&You
&they are off! ):
parents left today morning @5. didnt go school. wasn't feeling well ): anyway dad gave me th password th com :D! haha... well, i hoping to get drunk. lol. but that will not be happening lah. haha sian... pls entertain me luh!
me at dover
marie &me (:
'are we just too fast for love?'
Monday, August 28, 2006
{jake's looking at me in th dark. when i look at him, he reches over &whips my shirt to my armpits. "you are gettin' big" he says. "nice" he's grinning in th moonlight, teeth glowing like a jack-o'-lantern. i pull my shirt tigh against my ribs. "i hate you!" i say. "i hate you!" &i turn &run, cutting a new tunnel through th oats anthill.}
- jake riley; irreprarbly damaged by rebecca fjelland davis.
well, i am at page 51 of this book &boy! i do find it interesting. well, i must thank keith for asking me to read books (: haha well i shall describe th 2characters to you in brief.
jake; fat, long hair, trouble-marker, kind-hearted, been sent to reform school in Eldora where he has been fucked by guys older then him, now tryna get fucked lainey to proof that he isn't gay.
lainey; fit, slim, long legs, loves jake but doesn't know how to show it to him.
well, lets see how does th end goes (:
help th child to find love in th world ):
if a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn
if a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight
if a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy
if a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty
if a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient
if a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence
if a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate
if a child lives with fairness, he learns to be just
if a child lives with sercurity, he learns to have faith
if a child lives with approval, he learns to love himself
if a child live with acceptance &friendship, he learns to find love in th world
:( woke up @3 today. can't sleep. sigh, i am not myself this past few days. really sad &disappointed with myself. well. went to school... joy came early for once (: saw feng lying along th corridor, he looks kinda sick, poor him. assembly, went to first lesson classroom, physics.
physics was rather ok as we only did our workbook on temperature &heat transfer... lol. mr. tan keep asking me why am i not in th express stream. sigh, can don't ask alr? haha. i am alr 'happy' with where i am now. got back term 3 results for physics (: haha, had chemistry. nothing much. recess was early as ms. liang dismissed us 5 mins early (: whoo hoo!
had english, newspaper article on HIV. well, if i kanna, i won't worry at all. i'll not pass it on to anybody (: see! i am good ok! then had chinese. no one was paying attention again. sigh. poor mr. chia ):
had maths! ahh! anyway just nth much. got back ppr that all. started on a new topic, graph appiled on kinematics. lol. haha. had class contact. sigh! got additional maths eoy's paper coming out! so dead! AHH!
sigh, talking to my cousin in norway. well, he is my age. born i think 3/4 days apart. well. i do miss him &his mom. just hope that they can back in time for sister's wedding ):
a picture of them, so sweet (:
end-of-years; disaster!
if i go on like this, my results will be like this,
english - B3 chinese - C5 e maths - B3 a maths - F9 combined humanities - B3 combined science - A1 food &nutrition - B3
L1R4 = 14 points L1R5 = 19 points
DISASTER!
no
if i was to walk a thousand miles, will you be there? no.
if i was to say that i love you, will you believe me? no.
if i was to say that i will give up smoking &drinking for you, will you believe me? no.
if i was to say that i only care for you, will you believe? no.
if i was to say that you hurt me deeply, will you believe? yes.
morning. sigh, was kinda down lately. really hate th feeling... well, sigh. broher is leaving today for penang &phuket for holiday on superstar virgo, mum &dad is leaving on tuesday for my dad's niece wedding in penang. everyones GONE! my eldest brother won't be at home most of th time &sister might be staying over at mike's place. so its just me &th house. ahh!
i miss you guys! )':
i was daddy's good boy today!
rushed out of my house in my yellow top &white shorts w a green flip flop. how un-glam is that? razor-blades &scissors here i come! whee... went to bt. merah to cut my hair. it is short &i like it. haha, i think th shop is run by two AJ dudes. lol, th one that cut my hair was cute! haha. then went grocery shopping (: haha, got a new facial wash too =P! no more oily skin. then ate lunch.
talked crap with dad (mom wasn't feeling well). haha, apparently, he likes my jokes! haha. anyway dad got himself a new phone. k750i. oh wells, i am still waiting for my k800i ): then bussed back home.
went to visit my uncle at GH. sigh, he is kinda poor thing. he has been in &out of th hospital for a couple of times alr. sigh. i hope that things will get better :'(
a shot from dad's k750i
{sexy8}
Saturday, August 26, 2006
{sexy8} i love you! viccintta (:
the final decision
blogger is gone!
HAHA! actually is my comp luh. i disabled my javascript! silly me. sigh, it is really good to start your day with a hot bowl of campbell soup (: yum yum! haha. well, prolly gonna cut my hair today... i hope? sigh... i miss everything. you, VT, musical rehearsals &just YOU! sigh. enjoy my blog song :)
shayne ward - no promises lyrics
Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love. Every time you're near I feel like I'm in heaven, feeling high I don't want to let go, girl. I just need you to know girl.
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight, No promises. Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight
Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love. Everytime you're near I feel like I'm in heaven, feeling high I don't want to let go, girl. I just need you you to know girl.
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight, No promises. Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
I don't want to run away, I want to stay forever, thru Time and Time.. No promises
I don't wanna run away, I don't wanna be alone No Promises Baby, now I need to hold you tight, now and forever my love
No promises
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight, No promises. Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight, No promises. Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms Here tonight.
H.I.M. - Under The Rose Lyircs
Friday, August 25, 2006
I dream of the winter in my heart turning to spring While the ice gives way under my feet And so I drown with the sun
I've been burning in water and drowning in flame To prove you wrong and scare you away I admit my defeat and want back home In your heart under the rose
I open my eyes with a sigh of relief As the warmth of summer's sunlight dances around me And I see you with dead leaves in your hands
I've been burning in water and drowning in flame To prove you wrong and scare you away I admit my defeat and want back home In your heart under the rose
dying slowly inside
oh mr. murderer you know that i long for you in th shadows. why did things between us happened so fast? maybe it was just me, maybe i was just going too fast. you have caught my heart &yet i did not ask for it back. i told you i was on life support as i need you, you didn't understand me fully. i respected you, let you have your priorities. well, i didn't want you to put me first as i was new to you. guess i was wrong. maybe cassi was th right one for you, maybe i shouldn't have known you. oh mr. murderer, you &your words, they kill. oh mr. murderer, why did you do this to me? suffering in silence... on life support... 40% remaining...
i'm back! but not on beta ):
well, somehow i managed to play around with blogger by chagning my url to raunchynotes.blogspot.com then i decided to set up a new google account too. then i try logging in with beta, apparently. they sorta fixed my problem &i made it worst. but for now at least i can blog &you guys can read it (: haha
loves
day one &two without blogger.
yesterday 240806
sigh, my 'rrawkerrfella.blogspot.com' blog is gone! ugh, so irritating. so this is just temporary. i am using haloscan, so you can 'tag' me below th title of every post (: sigh, today was a 'so-so' day. had f&n in th morning. computer lab, so decided to blog. my finger was so itchy that i went to upgrade my dearest blog to blogger-beta. well, it says it's moving to th new hosting. so i waited. 5 periods of f&n gone, &it is still not updated. ugh. so went for physics. was kinda blur in lessons as i missed 3hrs of physics last week. i missed 'electromagnetic spectrum' sigh, i hope that i am able to catch up, now learning 'temperature' &'transfer of thermal energy' so confusing. then, had recess &3periods of chinese.
we didnt do much in chinese, haha, apparently we did nothing! haha. went to learn@fairfield to cam-whore. lol, pictures are below (:
had class contact, went to th auditorium for some talk by this UN dude on being successful on th normal stream. well, his talk is really appealing as he is th first batch of normal students in singapore. well, he manged to get his way thru &he is working for th UN now. really amazing. well, it is time for me to pull up my socks!
went home, check my blog, still not ready. ugh. chat with friends; desmond, keith &joy. sigh. been really emo at home this couple of days. dunno why? so i decided to wrote an email to blogger. i hope that they will get my dearest blog back. one more month to my birthday!
today
went school, nothing much... had english, history. watch th movie on HITLER! haha. then had maths. couldn't concentrate, sigh, 'I NEED HELP FOR MATHS &PHYSICS!' then had recess & 3more periods of history. more hitler &germany. sigh, i wrote a letter to hitler. i'll post it another time...
i miss my blog.
am i really missing you? haven't i gotten over you? what is all this? does it makes sense? why? do i really need love at this stage? why does your face keeps appearing to me? i really need you, i guess? but, i never get you back as i was harsh to you. am i that foolish to take up this challenge in loving you again. i really wanna win your heart my dear. sigh. keith, help me! i do miss him. ugh!
{sexy8 rocks!}(clifford &bev missing) {sexy8} (clifford &bev missing) me &vic twiss! me (so dark!) me &gina w make-up on. me, vic &huda me, glenys, vic &huda 'can you hear a thousand voices that cry!'
mr. hitler
dear mr. hitler,
do you have a heart? do you care for the people out there? is torture th only way out? oh mr. hitler, do you ever feel for them, their sufferings &their pains? i bet they bring joy to you instead. did you ever wondered that they have lost their loved ones? oh you wicked heart, you did all this nasty things just to satisfy you soul. i am sure that there could be a better way to solve all this problems. oh you mr. hitler, you have made yourself famous by doing all this sinful deeds, pride &fame, is that what you want? lives are gone, souls are dead &you are just one sinful man.
yours sincerely, joavan
India.Arie - I Am Not My Hair Lyrics
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Little girl with the press and curl Age eight I got a Jheri curl Thirteen I got a relaxer I was a source of so much laughter At fifteen when it all broke off Eighteen and went all natural February two thousand and two I went and did What I had to do Because it was time to change my life To become the women that I am inside Ninety-seven dreadlock all gone I looked in the mirror For the first time and saw that HEY....
I am not my hair I am not this skin I am not your expectations no no I am not my hair I am not this skin I am a soul that lives within
Good hair means curls and waves Bad hair means you look like a slave At the turn of the century Its time for us to redefine who we be You can shave it off Like a South African beauty Or get in on lock Like Bob Marley You can rock it straight Like Oprah Winfrey If its not what's on your head Its what's underneath and say HEY....
I am not my hair I am not this skin I am not your expectations no no I am not my hair I am not this skin I am a soul that lives within
(Whoa, whoa, whoa) Does the way I wear my hair make me a better person? (Whoa, whoa, whoa) Does the way I wear my hair make me a better friend? Oooh (Whoa, whoa, whoa) Does the way I wear my hair determine my integrity? (Whoa, whoa, whoa) I am expressing my creativity.. (Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Breast Cancer and Chemotherapy Took away her crown and glory She promised God if she was to survive She would enjoy everyday of her life ooh On national television Her diamond eyes are sparkling Bald headed like a full moon shining Singing out to the whole wide world like HEY...
I am not my hair I am not this skin I am not your expectations no no I am not my hair I am not this skin I am a soul that lives within
I am not my hair I am not this skin I am not your expectations no no I am not my hair I am not this skin I am a soul that lives within
If I wanna shave it close Or if I wanna rock locks That don't take a bit away From the soul that I got Dat da da dat da Dat da da dat da Dat da da dat da Dat da da dat da If I wanna where it braided All down my back I don't see what wrong with that Dat da da dat da Dat da da dat da Dat da da dat da Dat da da dat da
chalet 06' (planning in progress)
boo hoo!
was supposed to cut my hair today. but didn't due to some circumstances. went to school by ben mum's car. haha, now everyday i need not worry about missing 196 to sch. (: sigh. lessons today was ok... haha. tmr i'm gna use julien's white bag! haha, i'll try &take a picture of it ok? lol. well, sigh. everything happened so quick. i never thought that i'll be over you so quick. it was shorter then getting over alec. oh wells. sigh, i miss my musical cast &crew. saw caleb &gang. haha. chalet 06' is so gonna rock. haha.
i'm not missing you.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
i guess this is th right time to say this ler.
I'M NOT MISSING YOU!
well, i would to thank keith alot for helping me thru this difficult period of time. p.s. (i overdosed myself with 11 pills of pain-killers in class today)
confessions of an assistant stage manager
well, to start this off. i didn't really like th whole musical at first. therefore i didn't take part in th auditions. so i backed out of drama for a couple of months. soon i realized that feng yuan made it as cast i was shocked &suprised. so i decided to peep in &see what th whole thing was all about. th script was good &everything. then i met natalie &hansel. at first, i didn't like them at all because they were super strict on us. but disciplining us was all th better. soon, my impression of them change, apparently, they were super friendly. they give you comments to work on.
but i felt that th cast wasn't working as one during th rehearsals as some of them were fooling round. so i decided to up th challenge by being this musicals assistant stage manager. it is like a new path for me after acting in mediacorp &th blackbox production. well, its a different perspective. a whole new world. a fresh start for me as a crew member. i love my cast as they were very supportive, jumana, samantha, hannah, jacqueline, feng yuan, amy, charmaine, felicia, alex, ms. pamela tan, joleena, nameera, wendy &samuel (potato). well, i am very proud of them (:
entering VT was a new complete world for me. th environment was really friendly. &thats is where my perspective of everything changed. as th cast begin to practice on stage with their lines &as th light &sounds are being added in, i felt like i was in a total new dimension! well, i kinda regretted for not auditioning BUT it was a learning exprience for me! (: 4 days &nights in VT meant alot to me. it change my point of view of people around me.
well, for now, i am gonna work my but off to get into a school that offers theatre studies. so i guess its nafa for me?
a bright new world awaits us! let go!
Switchfoot - Dare You To Move Lyrics
Welcome to the planet Welcome to existence Everyone's here, everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now Everybody waits for you now What happens next, what happens next?
I dare you to move, I dare you to move I dare you to lift yourself up, off the floor I dare you to move, I dare you to move Like today never happened, today never happened before
Welcome to the fall out Welcome to resistance The tension is here, the tension is here
Between who you are, and who you could be Between how it is, and how it should be
I dare you to move, I dare you to move I dare you to lift yourself up, off the floor I dare you to move, I dare you to move Like today never happened, today never happened
Maybe redemption has stories to tell Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell Where can you run to escape from yourself? Where're you gonna go? Where're you gonna go?
Salvation is here
I dare you to move, I dare you to move I dare you to lift yourself, to lift yourself up, off the floor I dare you to move, I dare you to move Like today never happened, today never happened Today never happened, today never happened before.
Yang Chen Ling - Li Xiang Qing Ren Lyrics ( Rainie Yang - Ideal Lover Lyrics)
Monday, August 21, 2006
dressing up nicely, i looked at the watch anxiously my heart was beating fast as the time approached this is my first date with you
the golden ray of sunlight poured on the sidewalk i've changed a new lipstick and set my hair for you to see the goodness in me
i like the confidence you have when you walk your attentive look when you speak your gentle expression and your innocent smile i believe i can never find a better person than you) how is your ideal lover in your heart? will i be qualified
i really wanna know what kind of girls can get your perfect marks my dear, please let me play a more important role in your life i wanna ask, my dear, when you prepare to enhance the relationship from friends to couple, can you please tell me your benchmark, so that i won't wait in vain
i like the confidence you have when you walk your attentive look when you speak your gentle expression and your innocent smile i believe i can never find a better person than you) how is your ideal lover in your heart? will i be qualified
i really wanna know what kind of girls can get your perfect marks my dear, please let me play a more important role in your life i wanna ask, my dear, when you prepare to enhance the relationship from friends to couple, can you please tell me your benchmark, so that i won't wait in vain i heard the sound of the footsteps of time you nodded to me from the opposite street &walked towards me slowly everything was like a dream
i really wanna know what kind of girls can get your perfect marks my dear, please let me play a more important role in your life i wanna ask, my dear, when you prepare to enhance the relationship from friends to couple, can you please tell me your benchmark, so that i won't wait in vain
sorry
sorry!
un-break my heart!
sigh. down with th fever, cold &flu. sickening man! ugh. went to th doctor just now. got a day off. ): well, back to school tmr, sigh. i miss everything including tino. i am sorry. ):
all for you.<3
Sunday, August 20, 2006
All For You Sister Hazel
Finally I figured out, but it took a long long time And now there's a turnabout, Maybe cause I'm trying
There's been times, I'm so confused All my roads, They lead to you I just can't turn, And walk away...
It's hard to say, What it is I see in you Wonder if I'll always, Be with you But words can't say, And I can't do Enough to prove, It's all for you
I thought I'd seen it all, 'Cause it's been a long long time But then we'll trip and fall, Wondering if I'm blind
There's been times, I'm so confused All my roads, They lead to you I just can't turn, And walk away...
It's hard to say, What it is I see in you Wonder if I'll always, Be with you But words can't say, And I can't do Enough to prove, It's all for you
Rain comes pouring down (Pouring down) Falling from blue skies (Falling from blue skies) Words without a sound, Coming from your eyes
It's hard to say, What it is I see in you Wonder if I'll always, Be with you But words can't say, And I can't do Enough to prove, It's all for you
It's hard to say, What it is I see in you Wonder if I'll always, Be with you But words can't say, And I can't do Enough to prove, It's all for you
It's hard to say It's hard to say It's all for you
4days of hard work!
hey guys!
i'm back! th production was splendid. i was proud of my cast team, they did a great job! well done guys! &for those who came and supported us in any way, just wna say a huge 'THANK YOU' to you guys!
tuesday, met tino after rehearsal. he so freaking funny &cute (: rawr!
haha, on wednesday. came to school, moved to th props &sets to vt. boy vt was huge at th backstage. th rooms were nice, though someone had to spoilt it by saying vt is haunted. well, i don't believe it. so we set up th stage, moved things here &there. it was perfect. they tested out th lights. it was super cool! haha, then th cast came. they did nth much, just got themselves used to th stage. everyone left at 6, while me &julien stayed back till 9plus. we forgot to buy white tape so mr. pang made us run to funan to buy it, but all th shops were closed, so we went to popular at bras brasah &it was closed. so we walked to bugis, hoping that there is a shop that is open. ta-da, we found one. haha. we rushed back. &taped th floor.
on thursday, went to marina for breakfast. HOTCAKES! my fav's. loved it man. then we went to to bras brasah to get more stuff. we came back, did all th labelings for props &stage. cast came they did a tech-run till 9plus. took th train back home.
on friday, its showtime! went to city hall to them. walked around, went to foodcourt for lunch. then walked to citylink to see NUM people! haha. reported at vt. did a full run. it was ok luh. mr. firhad was stressing me up! ahh! haha. but my side of th crew was much better then julien's side. they cost me to problems. (: show started, i panicked. teared. was kinda sweet because all your hard work came into it. (: left vt after th show.
yesterday, went to funan macs for breakfast. hotcakes agn. yummy! it was kind sad that today is our last day together. &i'll miss vt! ): reported. did the transition for all th scenes. was great. the afternoon show started. was a good job (: ms. lim thanked everybody for making her dream come true. &i realised that all th teachers that are involve in th musical aren't bad after-all. they super funny esp. ms. liang, mr. firhad, mr. pang, ms. f tan, mrs. lim, mrs tan, ms p tan, ms. shamsiah &mrs wong. seriously. she thanked robert, me &julien. &told us that th audience thought that we were some professional people from th outside world helping out in th musical. LOL! had dinner. all crew came on stage &did a funny version of th play. i took felicia's role in th nonya ladies scene. 'no man wants her!' lol. &nonya boon's role (: when th show was about to star, tears came out from cast &me ): haha. so gay! then th show begin. it was a brilliant run! (: it ended. did curtain call. the cast was super sweet that they got me &julien a bouqet of sunflowers (: ahah. then mrs. lim had a suprise for th cast &crew. it was a video done by her, chi seng, caleb &amanda. it was an apprieciation video. haha. WE MADE IT SPECIAL! (: then had group hugs &stuff. haha, i rmb telling mrs. lim about having another musical &she just laughed. (: packed up. suddenly a fever, wasn't feeling well ): so left early. sigh.
to everyone; I MISS YOU!
wanna see my sports bra?
Monday, August 14, 2006
that is what mapletansufen asked me, damn funny luh. sigh, today was a long/sad/happy/emo day for me sigh. really encountered different feelings at different times. was smsing tino till today morning like 1 a.m. &i fell asleep. i feel so bad. then went to sch, completed the lenses worksheet. then went for assembly, was kinda late... ugh. had physics. nth much, just filing &stuff. had chemistry. was th highest for th test but nothing to celebrate about 36/40. then it was recess. english, newspaper article. sigh. about teenagers &schools. then chinese. was just clacking around.
had maths, mr. lim taught us th wrong topic. so we had to rush &learn graphs. haha. circles were much easier. sigh. lifeskills was rather boring. haha. i should have just said my whole day was BORING! tino wanted to meet me. but, i asked him not to as for some particular reason. :( why am i so mean? why? crying doesn't make sense. why? if only you knew. if only.
Team France's 12/08/06
Sunday, August 13, 2006
fireworks rocked!
hey!
yesterday was a TIRING day bah. met vic &bev at orchard mrt. Boy! vic look damn hot sia! haha. she look like tai tai! we then went to far east to makan. saw a fight happening, so scary! ahh! went bk. slack for awhile. bev &vic went around far east looking for smth. sigh. i wanna get a tongue piercing! ugh! then glenys met us, she was so tired... haha lao ah pek!
then we walked to hereen. lol. went to th shop next to th neo's, bev &vic found what they wanted. then they went to th toilet. sigh, me &glenys. so i dragged her to newurbanmale. ahh! hotties! haha. th tee are so nice. i wanna get th BITCH CLUB &GERMANY singlet. haha. then joy came, we bussed to raffles. actually we got down at le medrian &WALKED to raffles. haha. it was so funny luh. viccintta was walking so fast. haha.
but we manage to get there in time too. joy &glenys went to find marc, so me, vic &bev went inside to get a good spot. boy, the freaking place was crowded. people smoking while pushing one another. it was so humid. ugh. almost no air. then people behind pushed &pushed. somehow we got to th same place where me &joy was yesterday. haha. fireworks begin. nth much. only th ending was great. i hope joy did manage to record it. i'll upload it when i get it (: but i find it no meaning to watch as that person isn't there with me. sigh. why?
it ended. couldn't locate joy, marc &glenys. so me, vic &bev went to marina. so freaking crowded. walk here &there. nth much. went citylink. nth much. so they bussed back to cine while i went home. they were so freaking pissed. just because i didnt joined them. haha. sry huns. this week is gna be so tiring. rehearsal will end at 11p.m. sigh. plus its at VT. ): anyone wna offer me a ride back??
joy, glenys &me (: me &glenys &hereen.
it didn't mean anything.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
sigh. i just realised, it didnt mean anything. i guess he was planning to call out all the OBSabah clique only. sigh ): why?
sadness...
fireworks :)
i'm missing you badly! hur hur!
fireworks yesterday was a blast! haha. met joy around 6.30 &boy she looked hawd! haha. took 111 down to suntec... walk thru marina square just to go to esplanade. haha. practically i made joy walked luh. haha. then we went to esplanade, boy it was crowded. told her hat someone was bringing me to watch fireworks today! whoo hoo! haha. then manage to find an empty spot behind th glutton bay... haha. everybody was pushing &stuff. didnt really liked it. sigh.
bev, chad &suba were there , but it was so sad because they couldn't make their way to meet us. the displays were super duper good. i'll upload the video's ok? (: then when it ended we went to raffles on ground cos th underpass was freaking jammed! ugh. pissed off. walked around &around. then went bk to makan... haha. darn funny la. chad, suba &bev left. then its was only me &joy... we took pics. th bus came pretty late luh. sigh.
but i don't think i might be going with th person that asked me out yesterday. sigh, he sounded so cold to me today. maybe i thot that it meant smth when he asked me out. but joy told me smth else. missing you badly. ):
fun-shot! LOL! us @ esplanade! SWEETS! staring into blank spaces. me @esplanade (can't see much) us @stamford road (:
2 tagboards
Friday, August 11, 2006
sigh. now you can see my new tagboard now if you can't find my haloscan. you can tag both if you want (:
whee, its my night.
today, rushed to school to complete e maths homework. sigh. then had stomache again. fuck man. then morning assembly was in english. haha. it was funny. then we learnt about the structure of arguementative essays. then had ss. nth much, started on germany! whoo hoo! favourite country. (: then had maths, mr. lim super funny luh. haha, i got 14/15 for variations ¢ral tendecsis test! woots! =D then had physics, sian. but got back test paper. 24/30, not bad luh. need alot improvement. sigh.
today i was practically disturbing joy, she's so funny luh. stupid twerp! haha. then had ss. did a write-up on the rise of nazi's... haha. mr. ow is damn funny. haha. ltr going town w joy to watch fireworks! whee! haha sluts together! its our night out!
i'm not missing you. sadly!
Oh, Oh I'm not missing you Been through just about everything that I could go through When it comes to relationships Don't know what I was missing or why I ain't listen When I told myself that was it Now here I go, hurt again Cause of my curiousity Now that it's over What else could it be _____
I made a promise never to settle Why didn't I keep it? Cause I hated the heartbreak Crying and cheating, the fooling around
(But) I'm not missing you I'm not going through the motions Waiting and hoping you call me I'm not missing you You might have had me open But I must be going because I got life to do I know I'm usually hanging on I used to hate to see you gone But this time it's different I don't even feel the distance I'm not missing I'm not missing you
It's a shame in a way cause I feel that I may not ever find the right one for me Did I leave him, is he right in front of my face oh Will my true love ever be? Why would I go on a search again When I know what the end will be What good is love when it keeps on hurting me?
I made a promise never to settle Why didn't I keep it? Cause I hated the heartbreak Crying and cheating, the fooling around
(But) I'm not missing you I'm not going through the motions Waiting and hoping you call me I'm not missing you You might have had me open But I must be going because I got life to do I know I'm usually hanging on I used to hate to see you gone But this time it's different I don't even feel the distance I'm not missing I'm not missing you
(But) I'm not missing you I'm not going through the motions Waiting and hoping you call me I'm not missing you You might have had me open But I must be going because I got life to do I know I'm usually hanging on I used to hate to see you gone But this time it's different I don't even feel the distance I'm not missing I'm not missing you
No I can't be with you Cause I'm scared felt like I was falling when you left me I can't keep going through life Unaware of what I missed And the person I could be Love's good when it's right And when it's left in your memory All the times I let you down I guess love will be nice for someone else's life
(But) I'm not missing you I'm not going through the motions Waiting and hoping you call me I'm not missing you You might have had me open But I must be going because I got life to do I know I'm usually hanging on I used to hate to see you gone (I used to hate it) Oh different, oh feel the distance I'm not missing I'm not missing you
I'm not going through the motions Waiting and hoping you call me (knockin' at my door) You might have had me open But I must be going because (it's the best day of my life) I know I'm usually hanging on I used to hate to see you gone Oh different, feel the distance I'm not missing I'm not missing you I'm not missing you (oh baby) I'm not missing you I'm so over you It ain't even a problem
what goes around comes back.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
sigh. today isn't a great one for me. after ndp, i called him, he answered &promised me will call back when he gets back. but he didnt. oh wells, he's in national camp now.. ugh. hurts alots i don't know why. he isn't there so is anita! why is that people who are closest to me are going away. ugh.
i was busted by my primary school mates, the found out! 'i was like dang!' ugh. oh wells. later will be going out. pls pray that i'll get my k800i bah! hur hur, i want that phone very much. sigh.
the adventure!
i wanna have the same last dream again the one where i wake up and i'm alive just as the four walls close me within my eyes are open up with pure sunlight i'm the first to know my dearest friends even if your hope has burned with time anything that is dead shall be re-grown &your vicious pain, your warning sign you will be fine
hey yo here i am &here we go life's waiting to begin
any type of love it will be shown like every single tree reach for the sky if you're gonna fall i'll let you know that i will pick you up like you for i i felt this thing i can't replace when everyone was working for this goal where all the children left without a trace only to come back as pure as gold to recite this all
hey yo here i am &here we go life's waiting to begin tonight hello here i am &here we go life's waiting to begin tonight hello here i am &here we go life's waiting to begin
i can not live i cant breathe unless you do this with me i can not live i cant breathe unless you do this with me i can not live i cant breathe unless you do this with me i can not live i cant breathe unless you do this with me i can not live i cant breathe unless you do this with me i can not live i cant breathe unless you do this with me
hey yo, here i am (do this with me) here we go life's waiting to begin (do this with me) hey yo, here i am (do this with me) here we go life's waiting to begin life's waiting to begin
what a celebration.
Wednesday, August 9, 2006
yesterday, i don't really know where to start?!? yesterday was a fucked up day for me. well, we were on our way to marina south; just me, dad &sis. took service1 00 down to CBD to change for service 400. on the way, had a bloody traffic jam luh. stupid bloody cars wouldn't allow th freaking bus to pass thru. ugh. then when we board 400, th slip road to ECP was jammed. dang. i just felt like i was in malaysia (no offence). th traffic progressed. &guess what, the fireworks was about to start &we were supposed to be eating &enjoying th fireworks at the same time but we are stuck in th huge jam. then we manage to progress a bit more.
then a saw a scene which was really irritating &disturbing. from where i was till the benjamin.s bridge, there was a huge jam. fuck! &i noticed the route that 400 is suppose pass through, drivers infront left their cars &just went forward to enjoy th fireworks. i did manage to catch a glimpse of it, thanks to th bus driver. after th fireworks had ended, it took 15 mins for the jam to be cleared. sigh. when we reached marina, th place was packed with people. &boy! as we were about to alight, people who just boarded th bus kept pushing their way in. sigh. even worst. some girl bump into my sister in resulting of her phone in falling. sigh. it was her new phone.
we manage to get a table, i had no mood to eat upon seeing th place. i felt disgusted. i think one of th dishes was decomposed cos it stink like a filthy rubbish bin. ugh. i am liked complainning alot. sigh. then it got worst, my eldest brother pissed me off. ugh. then had no mood to participate in the steamboat.
dang! i saw one guy holding k800i. ugh idiot! then we left, it was super hard for us to board th bus as there were many people at the bus stop. so we decided to call a cab &it eventually came. (: then got back home &i went straight to bed...
--------
today, woke up pretty late, received a sms from desmond, 'did you receive my mms? it was the fireworks..' it was so sweet! but it is a waste that my phone had no mms ): but he was sweet, he knew that i was stuck in a jam he sent me a mms. haha. yeah, the thought that counts! then talked to him on the phone... haha. he was really funny luh. yeah. was supposed to go out with maple but smth happened. &i am sorry maple dear! ):
gotta go, take care!
angels and airwaves
Tuesday, August 8, 2006
ahh! they rock big time!
love hurts.
sigh. was reading some of my friends blog.
why is it like this? why?
desires.<3
hey,
didnt had the intention of going school today as i thought it was still rainning from today morning. sigh. but it wasn't, so decided to get myself out of bed. got changed. my mind was filled with lots of problems. but as i was about to walk out of my house i realised that i forgotten smth. i rush back in &shouted;
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!
i have forgotten all about it! sigh. then i gave her a hug &a kiss. so went to school in drama polo-tee. when i reached the bus stop, i saw everyone in RED! &i was in my black. inside their heads they'll be thinking; 'aiyoh! this boy ah! tmr singapore birthday wearing black, siao ah!' or 'bloody hell, you think you tryna be cool &outstanding by wear black ah!' haha. anyways, reached school in time. phew... had a couple of practices before assembly. haha we marched here &there.
then it started! i was like 'ohmygod!'... i just wanted to faint. but again, i am famous for fainting in school or having health problems. but this time decided to stay strong! i have made 2new pals from the marching &they are anthony &benedict. they are funny people man! anthony is in my physics class &i hardly had a chance to talk to him as i am always with my clique. but he is really funny man! yeah. then march here &there. then stand for like 10mins. national athem. pledge. then speech. another speech. than walk past the minister. then HOORAAY! its completed. :) haha.
then came to part 2 of the programme. the perfromances. me &julien are suppose to help out in put 2boxes on the stage &remove it after the musical cast has performed. so lame. but oh wells. its our duty as S.M. &A.S.M. mr. firhad &mr. pang were like super super funny &crazy today, they kept saying funny words &mumbling funny phrases. then they performed. well... they did a good job then yesterday's rehearsals. WELL DONE CAST! then ms. sam toh &mr. ezal came to perform! boy they rocked big time! haha. we broke the flag bunting record! whoo hoo! 765m! haha. then it ended.
had musical debrief. &methodist-teachers get together briefing. sigh. spencer nose bled due to unseen circumstances. sigh. then i left school.
i wanna be a director when i grow up or maybe a playwriter! haha. i wanna be in theatre industry, acting or backstage. as long i gain smth from it may it be cash or friends. haha. i told mr. firhad, he said go for it! haha. he totally rock luh. now julien also interested in it. but, there are no degrees in singapore for theatre studies. sigh. so have to go to private universities or overseas. haha.
someday? one day.
Sunday, August 6, 2006
NickelBack, Someday.
how the hell did we wind up like this why weren't we able to see the signs that we missed &try to turn the tables
i wish you'd unclench your fists &unpack your suitcase lately there's been too much of this dont think its too late
nothings wrong just as long as you know that someday i will
someday, somehow gonna make it alright but not right now i know you are wondering when you are the only one who knows that someday, somehow gonna make it alright but not right now i know you are wondering when
well i hoped that since we are here anyway we could end up saying things we have always needed to say so we could end up stringing now the story is played out like this just like a paperback novel lets rewrite an ending that fits instead of a hollywood horror
nothings wrong just as long as you know that someday i will
someday, somehow gonna make it alright but not right now i know you are wondering when you are the only one who knows that someday, somehow gonna make it alright but not right now i know you are wondering when you are the only one who knows that
how the hell did we wind up like this why weren't we able to see the signs that we missed &try to turn the tables now the story is played out like this just like a paperback novel lets rewrite an ending that fits instead of a hollywood horror
nothings wrong just as long as you know that someday i will
someday, somehow gonna make it alright but not right now i know you are wondering when you are the only one who knows that someday, somehow gonna make it alright but not right now i know you are wondering when you are the only one who knows that i know you are wondering when you are the only one who knows that i know you are wondering when
i miss you
haven = my refuge!
AHH! haha. i think acs standards are way way high! haha anw, yesterday night was a great night for me. someone who was part of me came back. (: haha. really was happy. told me that he missed me HELL LOADS! &that ndp rehearsal was stressing. he told me that he was confused in life when i told him smth last month. &i guess i hurt him really badly. so i teared. then he teared too! its was like so sweet luh. sigh. but i am gonna wait everything to be complete, then i shall start on a relationship... bah! haha. sigh. why is everything like this. all confused. man-o-man! this week is gna be a pretty short one.
monday- school &rehearsals for nd/musical tuesday- nd (half-day) &mum's brithday! wednesday- national day! (holiday) thurday- holiday (maybe musical rehearsal?) friday- school.
th picture, sm &asm. joavan &julien. SWEETS! =D
HAVEN ROCKED
Saturday, August 5, 2006
haven... my mind is all about it man! it was so freaking entertaining... & very emotional... sigh... but i learnt alot from it luh... haha... yeah... ystd went to town for a walk... wierd huh... go town just to walk... but it felt great going alone.. but i forgotten smth, &its cash... when you are alone, you buys things just to calm yourself down... retail therphy... haha... yeah... my cousin told me today that haven was nice... i was anticipating for it! ahh! haha. then met joy at 1... bussed to acs to meet atiqah... lol.. the freaking school is huge... like whoa! haha... the center for performing arts is HUGE! lol. bigger then fairfield hall.. oh wells. after seeing th 2 musicals. i hope that fairfield one can do better than them.. well.. i hope. (: